Is your husband one? Mine is. Yesterday, cold as it was, he said, “let’s go down to the lake for a couple of hours; we won’t stay long.”
I bit – again.
We reached the lake at one-thirty and I fished with worms long enough to catch a few small ones for him to use to catch big ones. When I had caught as many as he thought he would need, he called out that the boat was ready, which was a short way of telling me who was to row. With the one short oar, I guided the boat half a mile to where he had smelled a bream bed two days before. We fished the two hours with nary a bream, nor a bite of any kind. I washed my hands in the frigid water, broke the icicles off the ends of my fingers, wiped my hands and prepared to go home and try to thaw out. In spite of my “But-you-promiseds,” he said,
“Let’s make a few casts for bass and carp. If they don’t start biting soon, we’ll go.”
I absolutely refuse to wear his long underwear under my slacks, and I was freezing, but had no choice. We went out again.
“Row on your right,” he said. “Take in your pole. Put this ABU on your line. Cast right over there where those bubbles are. Keep the BOAT STRAIGHT! Hand me the water jug. Try casting on your left. Put the lid on the worms and put them under the seat. I’VE GOT A BIG ONE! GET THE NET!! Keep still – you’re shaking the boat! Here he comes!” But he got away; I shook the boat too hard.
“Okay, we lost that one; now let’s get in the main channel. Lift your anchor. Row on the right. Now the left. Now right. Keep on till I tell you to stop. Change your lure. Hand me some gum, the pliers and a srink of water. You might pour us a cup of coffee, too.”
I sneaked in a cast while he was catching his breath and caught one!! A fish, that is.
“See – if you do what I tell you, you’ll catch some fish.”
I cast again. You’re just wasting your time over there. Why don’t you cast where I tell you to?”
I reeled in another.
“My lure is hung on a log. Row us over there so I can get it. Wait here while I check on this line I put out before. My bait’s gone. Take us to the cam – it’s deeper there. Cast to your right. WATCH IT – you nearly hooked me. Hand me my pipe. CAN’T YOU TELL RIGHT FROM LEFT? I need my tobacco, too. Pull up anchor and turn the boat,. Drop anchor. Cast to your left. NOW YOU’VE DONE IT – YOU HOOKED ME! Get my knife out of the tackle box and cut the hook out of my pants. Lucky you don’t have to cut it out of ME. Now be more careful. Hold everything till I get this backlash untangled. Cast AHEAD of you; you know better than to cast where you’ve already been –“ So on and on and on for hours.
When he finally got ready to quit and go in, it was so dark. I wouldn’t have known a fish from the darkest African – or cared. Five minutes and thirty-three joint cracks later I succeeded in reaching a standing position. Many times I have heard the expression ‘the bottom fell out.’ Now I knew what it meant. I felt as mine had. That portion of me was totally numb. I couldn’t feel it, and in the darkness I couldn’t SEE it. All I could do was hope.
Reaching home at nine-thirty, I made a physical check-up after making and eating a sandwich. No broken bones, but six broken fingernails, no polish and worm-ick, some of it still alive, buried under the remains. Yesterday’s painfully pedicured toenails in ruins. Two blisters on each hand; both hands numb, one sore wrist, one creaky elbow and a dis-jointed shoulder. A worse soreness between my shoulders that had already been there and we had broken an appointment with the chiropractor to stay and fish. S sacroiliac I didn’t know I had possessed. A $4.75 hairdo as low and droopy as my spirits, as it had rained just enough to ruin both. Four bruises on my legs. Several deep scratches because I would not wear longhandles under my slacks. Numerous insect bites despite the intense cold. Feeling returned to my seat, a hundred times more painful than the feeling returning to my cold-numed body. And a knowledge that tomorrow I’d have to stand all day. And carry a box of Kleenex for developing sniffles.
And all the thanks I got was, “But you caught fish, didn’t you?”
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